Do you know what makes a man feel so excited and inspired to be with you that he's actually "addicted" to being with you and can't stop thinking about you and calling?
Or are you not quite sure?
Here are a few of the "predictable" ways that some women try and go about it:
- play hard to get
- become his best friend but be physical with him too
- be his "therapist" and help him with his problems
- dress provocatively and act "sexy"
- tell him about the other men who are chasing after you to make him jealous
So which of these is what works?
The answer is... none of the above.
That's right. Some of the most common things thatlots of women do - whether consciously or unconsciously - are actually HURTING their chances of having a man feel that intense, gut-level,
natural attraction for them.
Which means...
If you've ever TRIED HARDER to have a man feel it for you by doing these things, he likely started to feel LESS of that special "connection" with you.
Yikes. Not good.
It doesn't have to be this way - and there's a more natural way to create what you want with a man.
Do you wish you had a magic pill that you could give a man that would make him instantly feel drawn to you and want to pursue a real relationship with you?
Are you constantly frustrated by the fact that a man "acts" interested in you for a while...but slowly kinda fizzles out with the phone calls and texts until one day, he just DISAPPEARS?
It doesn't feel good to think that a man may have lost interest, or WORSE, that you may have done or said something that turned him off or made him lose interest.
What are the mind set or attitudes that make it possible for a man to fall in love with you?
Here they are:
ATTITUDE #1: "I Love Life and Don't Take Myself Too Seriously"In order to have chemistry with a man, you need to display a love of life and a tendency for playfulness and unpredictability.
You also need to flirt with him...whether you just met or you're on your 5th or 20th date.
Flirting isn't just for people who just met, by the way. It can increase chemistry and connection no matter WHAT stage of relationship you're in. The happiest couples I know flirt even when they've been married for 20 years.
And don't be afraid to try to get things started or initiate the flirting, because he can't create that chemistry by himself.
Flirting is obvious to some people, while others, even if they can feel it when someone else does it to them, have NO idea what it is or how to create it.
If you're not sure how to flirt, pay attention to the next few paragraphs and really try to practice this as soon as possible.
One way to flirt is to not take yourself too seriously, tease him a little, and react unpredictably to a situation (just not in a crazy way).
Here are some examples:
1. Be a little TOO serious for the situation, but be obviously joking underneath.
2. Break the "socially acceptable" limits on personal space by touching him gently on the shoulder or arm
3. Interpret what he's saying through a sexual context, implying something he didn't really mean
(but being obvious that you're joking. See #1)
Flirting produces new stimuli in his brain, which in turn gets his ATTENTION. When he does it back, it creates a mutual feedback loop that most people call "chemistry."
You can't fake it, force it, or sit back and wait for it to happen. And if you can continue to create these kind of playful, stimulating experiences every time you're with him, you can
help him fall in love with you.
Flirting and chemistry is important for sparking attraction and keeping the momentum of the relationship going, but just as important if you've JUST started dating a man recently is this attitude...
ATTITUDE #2: "I'm Selective and I Don't Jump Into an Exclusive Relationship Too Soon"One of the most common mistakes I see TONS of single women making with men when they're dating is to treat a few great dates as a "relationship" too soon.
This is a mistake because a man interprets this attitude as "needy" and a little too pushy. And it's a complete ATTRACTION KILLER.
You may "think" that you're not doing this when you first meet a guy and go on a few great dates,
but if you're calling him all the time, or get upset when he doesn't call you often or "on time", or expect that he should ask you out every single weekend, or you grill him about where he's been
and what he's been doing when you're not together...
YOU'RE DOING IT.
But when you treat date #5 the same as date #1 - with an attitude that, "I'm selective and I'm still getting to know you right now. I won't allow myself to get too serious too soon unless I am
sure that you're the right man for me." it completely makes the man TAKE NOTICE.
He feels COMPELLED to prove himself to you, to pursue you, to show you what a good guy he is.
(And if he doesn't, he wasn't worth your time to begin with!)
By having this attitude from the beginning, and actually following through, you create the right psychological "environment" for a man to want to spend time with you and get to know you better.
And maybe even develop serious, loving feelings toward you.
Now onto the last attitude...
ATTITUDE #3: "Love is Abundant and I Can Get What I Want"There are some common scarcity-oriented beliefs that many women hold in dating and relationships that are based solely on FEAR and a resistance to staying open and positive.
Do you ever find yourself thinking any of these things:
- Love is rare, hard to find, hard to keep
- All men cheat
- I'll never find the right man or someone to love me
- Men are scared of commitment or just don't want real relationships
If you have these deep, internal beliefs, how would you then come across? You'd probably put out a vibe to a man that he senses as coldness, sarcasm, or a "victim" mentality.
It's NOT attractive and only works to VALIDATE your fears because when a man senses these attitudes, he will soon start to withdraw...stop calling as often...get flaky...fizzle out or
simply lose interest.
Just as YOU would if you were with a man who was often sarcastic, acted disinterested, or told
you how "No woman ever calls me back after the third date. You won't do that, will you??"
(yeah, that's not totally creepy...)
UGH... No one wants to hear something like that from someone they're dating, and they don't want to FEEL it, either.
So if you're projecting a needy attitude because you keep endlessly "following" up to see if he'll reschedule that date even though he keeps telling you he's busy, or asking him why he hasn't called in a week, or acting distant when he finally DOES call...
YOU'RE BEING CREEPY!
But what if your attitude was one of abundance?
What if you felt so confident in your ability to get a man's interest and spark deep ATTRACTION
that you knew if he wasn't The One, the next guy was just around the corner and even BETTER than the one you left behind?
So you never felt fear, or anxiety, or helplessness.
You knew that YOU had a CHOICE...the choice to keep seeing a man who you're attracted to and have chemistry with, or move on if it's not the "right fit" for you.
Once you project that attitude of abundance and confidence, you immediately trigger a longing in a man...
A longing to want to make you happy and be committed to you.
I want to ask you a question now....
Do you believe that "love just happens"?
Most of us experience that chemistry, attraction and physical excitement in our lives with another person and we think that it "just happened" and that it's nothing that the other person did in order to spark that kind of feeling in us.
But I'm here to tell you that love doesn't "just happen" and that there ARE certain SUBCONSCIOUS factors that actually trigger a man into feeling magnetically drawn to you.
Here's a caveat, though.
If you are a man's "type" and he likes the way you look PHYSICALLY...
Like maybe you wear your hair a certain way, or you have a certain body type that he finds irresistible, or you have a beautiful face and flawless skin...
He may feel a certain physical "chemistry" with you, and want to get to know you better, and will
want to get intimate with you or even tell you that he's "interested" in you...
But unless you spark another, more POTENT kind of attraction in him, I guarantee that his interest will fizzle out after a few great dates...or less.
So what can you do to make sure that the RIGHT man doesn't lose interest in you and sees you as
"the" woman he wants to pursue for a real relationship?
You can learn what it takes to create that deeper connection and emotional attraction in him, and you can actually make it happen.
He won't feel you doing it, and most likely he won't even be AWARE of what's happening with him.
He'll just think that "love just happened" to him.
But it didn't just happen. You created the right circumstances to help him fall in love.
You knew what he needed to experience and how you could help him have that experience.
Ok, but I have to interject here.
This isn't about manipulation.
It's not some trick, or some weird, magic "spell" that you're going to put on a man.
It's not about contorting yourself to be someone you're NOT. Creating a true and lasting attraction means being completely yourself, relaxed, authentic and feminine.
It's not about "faking" a guy out so he'll feel a certain way.
by Christian Carter
http://www.CatchHimKeepHim.com
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