Do you feel uncertain about the future of your relationship?
Would you feel more confident in your relationship if you knew exactly what to say and do so that your man would ALWAYS feel that being with you and staying in a committed relationship with you was worth it, no matter what kind of challenges you're having?
Challenges like tough financial times, stress, temptations from other women, and disagreements?
Do you sometimes wish that men could just be more HONEST with you?
Do you feel discouraged by dating because the men you meet actually LIE about what they want from dating, what their background is, what they do for a living and sometimes even lie about whether or not they're AVAILABLE?
To where sometimes you end up involved with a man who is already seriously dating another woman, or worse - is married?
Not good.
If these are situations that you run into a little more than you'd like, then keep reading because I'm about to reveal the "MAGIC ATTITUDE" that actually inspires a man to be completely up front and honest with you about such things as:
-- If he's looking for something serious or casual
-- If he's seeing other people
-- If you're the kind of woman he's drawn to
-- If he's ready to "settle down" or not
As a matter of fact, with this magic attitude, you may be able to get a man to reveal a lot more than he would ever reveal on his own, without prompting, and the ADDED BENEFIT of this is that he will feel more "connected" with you because he'll feel he can tell you just about ANYTHING.
He'll feel more attracted to you because he'll feel more understood and appreciated by you.
This is why I call this attitude "magic." It not only inspires honesty from a man, it makes him feel more connected to you at the same time.
Nice.
If you're in a relationship, it can help you get to the bottom of what he's thinking and feeling, so you can know why he's withdrawing, if he's open to taking things to the "next level," or what's holding him back from fully committing to you.
But first, there's a fundamental question that seems to bother a lot of women.
Why does this even have to be an issue, anyway?
Why can't a guy just be up-front and honest with you?
Why, for example, is it so hard for a man to tell you why he's not calling as often or why he stopped asking you out, especially when he seemed so "into you" in the beginning?
You go out on a few dates with a guy, and you think everything is going great, then he stops calling. He doesn't respond to your emails or texts. It's like he's dropped off the face of the earth and YOU DON'T KNOW WHY.
It's not that you are so particularly "heartbroken" about this. Maybe you even realized that he was a nice enough guy, but you didn't know him well enough yet to fall in love or anything.
But still.you wish you could at least hear WHY he stopped calling, stopped asking you out, stopped responding to your messages.
You just wish he could be HONEST with you.
But is it a big deal - I bet you can handle it. Right?
Hmmm.perhaps, but that's not how HE may be seeing things.
WHY MEN WILL LIE TO YOU
Imagine this scenario: You're on a first or second date with a man and it's going really well. You're laughing, you're having a great conversation and you seem to have a lot in common, it's almost scary how similar your attitudes are about certain things. You feel an intense "chemistry" between you. He's staring at you with that "look" that tells you he is very attracted to you. He even talks about places he'd like to take you to someday. You are almost positive that this is the beginning of something meaningful with this guy. But a day or two goes by after the date and you don't hear from him. Then a week, then two weeks. You send him a message, "Haven't heard from you in a while. How are you?" But he doesn't respond. You never hear from him again. You beat yourself up, analyzing everything you did and said on the dates to see if maybe you accidentally put him off. Months later, you find out the truth from someone else. During the time he was dating you, he was also dating another woman, and was now getting more "serious" with her. You feel confused and disappointed, and a bit annoyed that he didn't just tell you the TRUTH about what was going on.
Why didn't he tell you the truth - either before, during or after he went on a date with you?
The truth would have been a whole lot better than days or weeks WONDERING and beating yourself up over nothing. Right? Of course it would.
So why does a man lie to you? Why does he avoid telling you the truth about a situation?
The answer is simple.
A man will lie to you because he hates confrontation.
He FEARS your emotional response. He fears your rejection of him. He fears that HE won't be able to "handle" your response.
He's imagining that you're going to cry, scream, be disappointed, argue, or complain. He fears
being put on the spot or "attacked."
Understand?
I'm telling you what that guy - who maybe doesn't know you all that well yet - is thinking.
You may be a cool cucumber. Totally able to maturely handle whatever he tells you.
It doesn't matter - somewhere in his past, there was a woman or two who did in fact overwhelm him with her emotional response, and it FREAKED him out.
He could have just said, "Hey, I am dating another woman right now, and I've decided that I want to get to know her better. I think you're great, but I also feel that I want to give this other
situation a chance."
Instead, he tells you NOTHING--he avoids you, stops calling, and hopes that he won't ever have to face your criticism and judgment.
It's not a particularly mature and considerate thing to do, but that's the reality of how it is with a lot of men. Not all, but definitely a lot.
They don't even realize in the moment how YOU'RE feeling. All they know is that they have to do what they must do to avoid that confrontation they fear.
Despite this, there's reason to be hopeful that you can create the space for a man to be honest
with you with really no effort.
And here's something else you need to know.there's a "window of opportunity" for getting the most honesty right away, so you can screen out the men who are Mr. Wrong from the start.
Be sure to know when that window is open for you, and take advantage of it.
WHY FIRST AND SECOND DATES ARE CRITICAL TIMES FOR HONESTY
This is an interesting fact: a man will be MOST HONEST with you when he is NOT YET emotionally engaged or invested in your relationship yet.
In other words, you can probably learn a LOT about a man on a first or second date, when you're just getting to know each other.
This is a time when he's not so afraid to share, because he's not afraid of disappointing you (since you don't know each other well enough yet).
This is when you should be listening VERY closely to what man tells you.
This is when he'll tell you things like, "I'm just looking for something casual and fun right now. I
just got out of a long-term relationship and not into getting into the same situation anytime soon."
Or he might laugh and say, "I'm a lifetime bachelor. Settling down doesn't interest me in the least."
Or, he might reveal some other dark secret, "My ex was an unhappy woman. Always complaining about one thing or another about me."
And that's when you need to HEAR what he's saying.
And take him seriously. Know what you're in for.
The man you choose is the man you get.
THE ATTITUDE & THE THREE MAGIC WORDS THAT INSPIRE HONESTY
When you want to inspire honesty in a man, so that you let him know that he is "safe" when he shares with you, you have to have what I call the "Anything is OK" attitude.
Now, this doesn't mean that anything is OK for a man to do, and that you're supposed to accept anything he does and have no boundaries or limitations.
The attitude is more like you thinking, "Anything is OK for you to share with me, but I know what I will and will not tolerate in my life, and what I want. But you can TELL ME anything. I can handle it."
How do you communicate this attitude?
Easy.
With the three little words: "I'm just curious."
It can go like this.
"Are you seeing anyone right now? I'm just curious?"
"What kind of relationship are you looking for? I'm just curious."
"What kind of woman do you most admire? I'm just curious."
"Where do you see yourself in the next five years? I'm just curious."
Using these three words not only lets a man know that you'll be OK with whatever he tells you, but that you're not needy or too aggressive, and he can feel safe telling you just about anything.
Just don't stare at him, holding your breath, waiting for his answer. That defeats the purpose - BIG TIME.
Here's the deal.It's not that a man is afraid of certain questions. It's just that the WAY a woman
asks those questions makes him feel strange.
If a woman warns, "You're not seeing anyone else right now, are you?" It almost automatically invites DISHONESTY in a man.
If you want to inspire sincerity in a man, you must have the "Anything is OK" attitude and use
those 3 magic words to get the most honest response possible.
That way, you won't waste a lot of time going on dates with "unavailable" men, men who have skeletons in their closet, aren't over their ex, or are actually interested in a different kind of relationship than you are.
Wouldn't you benefit from knowing exactly how to use the "anything is OK" attitude to screen out the right man from all the wrong ones? How to know if the man you're with now is really being honest with you about where the relationship is headed?
Or if he's lying?
If you have a handle on dating and flirting, but you are often confused by what men do and say,
then there's something I want to ask you.
Wouldn't you love to have more insight into why men do the things they do, so that you could feel like you UNDERSTAND men better (and therefore have better relationships)?
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