Mom & Baby Astrology

Mom ~ Capricorn ~ The Goat ~ Dec. 22-Jan.19

Capricorn moms make wonderful parents because they take the job so seriously -- you're responsible, conscientious, and supremely patient (a trait most moms wish they had more of). Your natural ability to allow your child to grow and learn at her own pace is a testament to your maturity and innate understanding that everyone develops on her own timeline -- no need to obsess about hitting every single milestone marker on time. And smart, practical Capricorn moms are instinctively more focused on their child's overall well-being than on pushing for outward signs of perfection in specific areas. (How social is baby? Is she already saying "mama"?)

One big trap for you to avoid is a nagging sense of self-doubt -- were you too quick to correct your child in music class today? Was it wrong to let her cry it out at naptime? Learn to trust that you're doing a great job. Look into your child's eyes, see her smile, and you'll find all the reassurance you need.

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Baby ~ Gemini ~ The Twins ~ May 21-June 21

Your baby is blessed with a quick, engaged mind and needs constant stimulation. Read to her several times a day, and make sure you have lots of little objects (rattles, squishy toys) for her to play with. Satisfy her natural curiosity -- and fend off restlessness -- with pop-up toys, puppet shows, storytime at the library, and frequent field trips (such as to the supermarket or a fish store). A true chatterbox, your little one may be the first in her baby group to speak. Even if it sounds like gibberish, pay attention: In her mind, she always has something crucial to say.

-- Dabney Oliver

My Toddler, Month by Month .... 21months

Physical Development

During her second year, my toddler is continuing to investigate the way things feel, smell, look, sound, and taste. While she may still put inedible things into her mouth as a form of exploration, much as she did when she was a baby, she will rely on her other senses to help her discover the world. She will feel the soft fur on a cat's back, enjoy the smell of fresh muffins baking, observe her reflection in the mirror, listen to the birds or planes overhead, and--hopefully--sample the flavors and textures of new things to eat. My toddler may even become overwhelmed or overstimulated by too much sensory input (at a birthday party, for instance, or after a long outing), and because she lacks the awareness and words to tell you me, she act fussy or distracted, or "melt down" into tantrums or tears. For her, the world is a sensory banquet, but one that must be savored in small, child-size bites!

Social Development

Dracula alert! Though toddlers tend to put fewer things into their mouths as they get older, some may, on occasion, bite another child as an act of aggression, excitement, or discovery. Most often, children bite because they are frustrated or angered by an incident--such as another child's unwillingness to share a toy--and don't have the words to assert themselves or the ability to control the situation. Biting, like hitting, pinching, or hair pulling, is a primal form of expression, and as such, it is not an uncommon behavior in small children, who have yet to develop social skills or understand that their actions have a physical and emotional impact on others. (Remember, kids this age are still naturally egocentric and lack a sense of empathy.) So will a little biter turn into a mean-spirited adult? Probably not. With the proper guidance, a bigger vocabulary, and better sense of self-control, a teeth-baring toddler generally outgrows the biting habit by age 3.

Intellectual Development

Unlike adults, toddlers have no concept of time. And as i've probably discovered, words like "please hurry" or "in a second" don't have the same meaning to an in-the-moment as they do to a parent or even an older child. My toddler is focused on the present, comprehending the notion that things happen here and now (she wants lunch now, she wants to leave the store now, she wants to go to the playground now). But as she approaches her second birthday, she'll slowly begin to understand the concepts of "soon" and "later," particularly i shall need to provide her with concrete examples. ("We'll have lunch soon, right after we bring in the groceries," or "Opah will be here later, right after we finish our lunch.")

I bet, by age 3, my child will start to comprehend that things happen in the past, present, and future, although many preschoolers will use a general term such as "yesterday" for any event that occurred in the past or "tomorrow" for anything that is to take place in the future. By about age 6, children should begin to have a clearer picture of time. At that point i can urge my child to "Hurry, or you'll be late!" and she'll have some idea of what i'm saying.

Sources:Sources: Zero to Three (www.zerotothree.org); Spock, Benjamin, MD, and Parker, Steven J., MD, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care (Pocket Books, 1998)

How to Express Your Feelings to the One You Love

Love is not about giving or receiving gifts but about sharing each other’s feelings and letting each other know how much you really care. You need to be romantic, creative, and unique. The best way to show someone you really care is by words and how your actions make them feel special. You need to say something coming from the heart and show them from your soul. Love them for who they are and not for who you are.

Steps

1. Think about all the great moments that you have shared with that person for inspiration. If you think you won't remember, write it down or even better, make it into a poem.
2. Try to think of words that can describe what your feelings towards him/her are. The happiness you feel when you are around him/her and the necessity you have to being with him/her.
3. Find a place where you'll be comfortable and alone.
4. Finally, just say it. Don't try to think of the perfect time to say it because sometimes it will never come out, if you become too nervous. If you didn't prepare anything to say, just speak your heart out.

Tips

• Do not stress about it. They are your feelings; you just need to learn how to express them.
• You don't need to be at a fancy place to tell him/her your feelings. Just pick somewhere where you could be alone.
• If you want to be romantic, go somewhere special. For example; you can go where you both met, where you first kissed each other or just somewhere with a nice view or a place that is special to both of you.
• Don't forget to say "I love you," if you do and if you really mean it, say it a lot because that person will never get tired of hearing it.

P/s :~

• To truly love is to give and expect nothing in return. This makes it a giving - giving relationship when both think this way.
• Do not be afraid to give and show your love, understand and respect each other's feelings and emotions. Remember our hearts are fragile and feel everything.
• Don't end it if they don't say it back. Nothing says both parties fall in love at the same time, continue to love them and when it's right for them, they'll say it back.
• Tell them how much you want to be with them and spend as time with them as you can. They will appreciate that you are showing them your love and not just saying it.
• If the girl/guy does not love you back, there is a chance she/he will freak out. Proceed cautiously and slowly

~ source : http://www.wikihow.com ~

Ten ways to become a better dad

By the editorial staff

Approved by the BabyCenter Medical Advisory Board

The following list of Ten Things Men Can Do to Help Themselves Get More Involved was excerpted from the book Throwaway Dads, by Ross D. Parke and Armin A. Brott.

1. Be more active

If fathers don't start taking the initiative, they'll never be able to assume the child-rearing responsibilities they really want and that their children deserve. Instead of letting your partner pluck your crying or smelly baby from your arms, try saying something like, "I think I can handle things," or "That's okay, I really need the practice." There's also nothing wrong with asking her for advice: You both have insights that the other could benefit from.

2. Get more practice

Don't assume that your partner magically knows more than you do.
Whatever she knows about raising kids, she learned by doing - just like anything else. And the way you're going to get better is by doing things, too. Don't be afraid to get help if you're uncertain or feel ill prepared to be a father. Programs are available to help fathers learn the basics of caregiving. Learning to be an active and involved father need not be restricted to the period just after the baby is born. There is no clear evidence that the period right after birth is in any sense the critical time for men to learn fathering skills or to develop emotional ties to their infants and children.

3. Take pride in the special way you are with your kids

Men and women have different ways of interacting with their children. Men tend to stress physical and high-energy activities; women, the social and emotional. But don't let anyone tell you that safely wrestling, bouncing on the bed, or other "guy things" are somehow not as important as the "girl things" your partner may do (or want you to do). The rough-and-tumble of father play also teaches valuable lessons about regulating emotions such as excitement and arousal. Children with physically active dads are more popular and more successful in their relationships with other children.

4. Be emotionally available to your children

Physical interaction is undoubtedly an important part of the
father-child relationship, but being emotionally available and involved is critical, too. As John Gottman, author of "The Heart of Parenting," suggests, "Men must allow themselves to be aware of their feelings so they can empathize with their children. Then they must take whatever steps necessary to make themselves available to their kids."

5. Be a partner, not a helper

Despite the nostalgia of some conservative social critics for the idealized Ozzie-and-Harriet families of the 1950s, the traditional father-as-helper model is outdated and outmoded, and won't work nowadays. If men are going to be fully involved, they are going to have to share responsibility for the household and childcare in an active fashion.

6. Be available more than on weekends

To be an effective father, get involved in the day-to-day decisions that affect your kids. Leaving everything to the wife means that the father will miss out on the small pieces that give meaning to a child's life. Without taking part in the everyday chores, routines, and activities that make up childhood, fathers are not going to know their children with the kind of intimacy and nuance that are critical to being a sensitive and involved father.

7. Show respect for your partner

Being an involved father means recognizing all of the ways in which your partner keeps the family running and respecting the decisions she makes when you're unavailable. Try to develop a system to plan parent-child and family activities together. As the children mature, let them take part in the planning process as well.

8. Be aware of the need to communicate

If you don't like the status quo, let your partner know. If she at first seems reluctant to share the role of child nurturer with you, don't take it too personally. Give her time to learn that you are serious about wanting to participate more and that you are competent and sincerely motivated to change your level of involvement in parenting.

9. Know your legal rights

Changes in the law have given fathers more rights to help them balance home and work, but you've got to educate yourself about these new rights. And you have to take advantage of them to improve your opportunities to become a more involved father. For example, find out whether you're eligible for a family leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act. Unless you insist on exercising these rights, no one is going to do it for you.

10. Stay involved after separation and divorce

Fewer than 15 percent of fathers receive shared or joint custody of their children after divorce, and too many of those who don't get custody end up slowly fading out of their children's lives. But even after divorce, there are lots of ways in which dads can continue to play an active role. The most critical is to stay in touch, by phone, by mail, and in person. And make the time you spend with your kids meaningful. Avoid, too, trying to settle old marital disputes by using your children as pawns. Parents need to cooperate and support each other for the sake of the children.

fOr beTTer LiFe

1. Take a 10-30 minutes' walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. Sleep for 7 hours.

4. Live with the 4 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy and Entertainment.

5. Play more games.

6. Read more books than you did in 2008.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink plenty of water.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

18. Smile and laugh more.;

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Forgive everyone for everything.

26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.

27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

31. The best is yet to come.

32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

33. Do the right thing!

34. Call your family often.

35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.

36. Each day give something good to others.

37. Don't overdo. Keep your limits.

Avoid These 3 Mistakes After a Break-Up

Gurls, this may come as a shock to you.

But did you know that a man will LEAVE a woman he "LOVES" if he's not feeling a certain kind of attraction for her?

That's right, a man can feel that he "cares" about you and even wants more than anything to remain your FRIEND, but if he's not feeling all very specific kind of "emotional" attraction and connection with you, he's not going to feel IN LOVE with you.

You know when a man says "He loves you, but he's not IN LOVE with you"?

This is about the fact that a man has stopped feeling that emotional attraction and connection with you.

Of course, he will tell you that he thinks you're not really compatible, or that he's not ready for anything serious, or any number of "fake" excuses.

When the TRUTH is that he's just not FEELING what it is he needs to feel to know your relationship is right for him anymore.

Have you ever broken up with a man and spent weeks, months or even YEARS daydreaming about the day he would call to say he made a MISTAKE?

...that you're the ONE woman for him after all, and that he wants you back in his life - forever?

Have you ever been "haunted" by a man through your dreams at night, causing you to feel "in a fog" the entire next day about him?

Have you cried and despaired over a break-up because you felt like you'd NEVER find a man who UNDERSTOOD and LOVED you the way that one special guy did?

Do you torture yourself with daydreams about him coming back to you and asking you for a real
commitment this time? Daydreams that feel cruel in comparison to what the REALITY is?

Break-ups can be gut-wrenching, painful times in our lives.

Believe me, men suffer through them just as much as women do (they just don't like to admit it -
especially to their guy friends).

If you're like most women, you probably have a certain "PATTERN" that you go through after a
break-up.

You feel things a certain way, and you do certain things to make yourself feel better or to lessen
the pain or shame of feeling DUMPED.

It's normal to want to avoid PAIN and feel better if we can.

If you were a glutton for pain, you'd be having a whole different kind of problem that I couldn't help you with!

The problem isn't with wanting to avoid pain.

The problem is when we do things that we THINK will lessen our pain, and these actions actually
INCREASE PAIN in the long run!

Sometimes in order to avoid feeling something unpleasant, we do things to ourselves (or avoid things) that in the long run make things even WORSE.

Let's take relationships and break-ups as another (hopefully more interesting) example.

Most women tend to make the SAME MISTAKES after a break-up that keeps them STUCK in the same bad patterns, over and over.

These mistakes literally keep these women stuck in destructive, demeaning or GO-NOWHERE relationships for months or even YEARS.

These mistakes can be the reason you keep picking the wrong men over and over.

They can be the reason you keep feeling hurt and rejected all the time by a man who just won't
commit, won't love you, but won't let you go, either.

So if you're feeling like you've been in and out of relationships and that NOTHING seems to be changing or improving in the QUALITY of your relationships, listen up.

Because here are the 3 most common mistakes you need to avoid after a break-up:

MISTAKE TO AVOID #1: STAYING IN TOUCH WITH YOUR EX.

Women all the time who do this, and I almost don't blame them, really.

Your guy tells you it's over, or you get into a fight, or he says that he just can't see himself in a long-term relationship with you.

For all intents and purposes, you know that he's broken up with you and the relationship is over.

At least you feel that way for a day or two.

But then something happens.

He texts you. Or calls. Or emails.

At first, he's just being "friendly" and asking if you're "ok." Maybe you get together with him for coffee and talk about how your friendship is too important to just throw away.

How you want each other in your life in SOME WAY.

He may even tell you things like that he still "loves you" or thinks you're special, or that he "cares."

Sure, he thinks you're a great woman and he'd love to have you in his life in SOME WAY in order to boost his ego and lessen his OWN discomfort about the break-up.

So it goes.

Pretty soon, he's calling you all the time, and you're calling him.

You know you should probably not stay in contact, but you almost can't help yourself from responding to his texts or answering the phone when you know it's him.

And you get your HOPES UP that all that contact means he's getting closer to wanting you back. That there's a chance you can have things back to the way they used to be. Right?

WRONG.

Staying connected with a man who doesn't want a committed relationship with you (when you do) only PROLONGS your pain.

Each time he reminds you that he's not ready, or hasn't changed his mind, is just you getting your heart broken again...and again...and again.

STOP IT!

This isn't getting you closer to moving on and actually making the space and time in your life to
find a man who TRULY loves you and wants to have a real relationship with you.

It just keeps you dangerously STUCK in a place where your self-esteem and confidence actually
wither each time you talk, text, sleep with or daydream about your ex-boyfriend.

And you won't believe how long you can actually stay in that place - always hoping, but never
really getting what you want.

So cut all ties, if at all possible.

MISTAKE TO AVOID #2: THINKING YOU'RE A FAILURE AT LOVE OR SOMEHOW UN-LOVABLE

How many times have you wondered if the reason you can't find a good man who wants to have a real, devoted and honest relationship with you is because they're something wrong with YOU?

You wonder if you're just a FAILURE at love, or if maybe you're not attractive enough or if maybe you're undesirable.

It's just not true!

Break-ups are simply a part of your life's journey. It's a way for you to learn what you need to learn about WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU NEED in order to be happy.

Show me a woman who's never broken up with a man in her life and I'll show you a miserable pushover or a weirdo hermit.

Ok, I'm sure it's possible...maybe the Queen of England or some woman in an arranged marriage never broke up with a man in her life, but that doesn't mean that she's had an amazing and full
LOVE LIFE.

What do you think?

Feeling like you're unlovable or a failure is a disservice to YOURSELF. It's creating patterns of thinking that make you even less confident and even MORE needy in the future.

It's better to feel gratitude and even relief that you were shown a way of being in a relationship
that just doesn't work for you.

You'll know what kind of situation or man to watch out for next time. You'll know what you need to SAY and DO when you get into a relationship with a new man so this doesn't happen again.

You'll learn to be a wiser, stronger woman who knows her boundaries and who knows what she will or won't tolerate.

Now, without any painful or bad experiences in your love life, how would you ever know what REAL LOVE with a good man is?

Right. You wouldn't.

Moving on.

MISTAKE TO AVOID #3: TRYING TO FAST-TRACK YOUR GRIEF OR STAYING STUCK TOO LONG

Ok, tell me if you've ever done one of these three things after a break-up:

1. Get on an online dating site literally the SAME DAY your man breaks up with you and start
the process of a brand new relationship as quickly as possible

2. Tell yourself you're never dating again, or you're not dating until you can somehow "fix
yourself" and the things you think are wrong with you

3. Decide you don't have time for heartbreak and bad relationships anymore and you throw yourself into your work, family or friends and avoid dating altogether

???

If any of those sound familiar, it probably means that you're doing everything you can to AVOID
feeling what you're feeling after a break-up.

You're either trying to find a man quickly, in order to feel desired again...and therefore come
off as "needy, desperate or clingy" when you date...

Or, you're avoiding men altogether so you're not reminded of the man you really wanted and can no longer have. Therefore, you give off a vibe that says "stay away" or "I'm not interested."

This ping-ponging between extremes actually PREVENTS you from meeting a man who can actually be the one guy who CAN be good for you and turn it all around for you.

But hey, you may not care about that.

You may feel like it's OK if you don't date or find Mr. Right for a long, long time.

It's your choice. And you should be OK with that.

But if you're NOT OK with being alone and single and feeling STUCK, then do yourself a favor and learn how to use the pain of your break-up to create a BETTER situation for yourself.

And here's how.

Recently, I sat down with an amazing life coach who's made a career out of helping women after
a break-up.

Her name is Lisa Steadman.

Lisa is the author of the book, "It's a Break-Up, Not a Breakdown." In her private practice, she
specializes in helping women get over break-ups and get past the negative patterns in their lives that are holding them back from having the kind of relationship they really want.

When a woman is in despair because she just can't seem to get over an ex, or isn't having a lot of
success moving on, or just wants to know how to GET THE GUY BACK, she comes to Lisa for
consultation.

Lisa helps women recognize why a break-up isn't necessarily the end of the world for them, and
how to use their painful experience to actually GROW and LEARN how to create better experiences in the future.

Lisa says that experiencing a gut-wrenching break-up CAN be one of the most important things
that can happen to you in your love life.

It can be a CATALYST for changing the way you meet men, date, and behave in relationships.

It can actually bring you CLOSER to finding the love of your life - the REAL love of your life.

She helps women see the futility of the 3 mistakes I've just shared with you.

She helps them to change the way they usually do things after a break-up, so that they can begin to actually HEAL and get past the hurt, and be on the way to finding Mr. Right the right way - not too quickly or hastily, and not after months or years of wasting energy being stuck.

Lisa shared a lot of powerful advice with me during our hour-long interview.

Some of the highlights include:

>> The Big Breakup" - how do you know you've had one of these, or just another run-of-the-mill
breakup? Learn why having a Big Breakup can actually lead to a turning point in your life, and how that happens.

>> The UNIVERSAL MALE PROBLEM and most fearful moment for a man when he's around a woman (it's not what you think) and how you can use this inside knowledge to help you find Mr. Right.

>> The ONE FACTOR that makes a breakup almost heart-wrenchingly painful and makes you want to stay connected to him at all costs...but why staying connected in this situation is VERY
detrimental to you.

>> What you need to know about what your man thinks and feels about sleeping with you after
a breakup - BEFORE you end up in bed together (hint: it's counterintuitive and it's VERY CONFUSING).

>> What specific thing to focus on RIGHT NOW so that you don't stay STUCK constantly looking back on how things used to be with your ex, or how good life once WAS.

>> Why keeping in contact with your ex on social networking sites like FaceBook can be dangerous to you and your healing.

>> The 3 ACTION STEPS to take in order to start looking ahead to a love-filled future instead of
wallowing in the heartbreak of the past.

>> The WARNING SIGNS that you may be losing or compromising yourself and who you are when you're in a relationship - and how to know when you're letting a relationship or a man be more important than your own needs and goals.

>> Are you naturally very nurturing and giving in relationships? Here's ONE GREAT TIP on how to start every relationship on the right foot, so that you can feel fulfilled and relaxed about
who you are and what you need from a relationship.

>> The only way to make DRAMATIC CHANGES in your future relationships in getting your needs and desires met.

>> The RIGHT WAY and the WRONG WAY to be vulnerable around a man you just started dating (This specifically has to do with how you felt about your breakup).

>> The single best "PICK-UP LINE" a woman can use on a man, and how you can start using it TODAY if you're single. By the way, this one is a no-brainer. You'll see.

>> Why wearing black after a break-up helps you get over him much, much faster - a crazy exercise that you can enjoy doing in secret.

>> and much more!

So let's say that you've broken up with a man recently, or you're still kind of getting over a guy from your past.

You know that you should be "getting out there" and dating, or you should at least have a better
time with it.

Maybe you're having trouble getting into it because you're afraid of getting hurt again.

You're afraid of getting REJECTED again by someone you're interested in, or you're afraid you won't be interested in a man who thinks you're a fantastic woman.

"I like that guy, but he doesn't want me."

"That guy keeps calling and asking me out, but he gives me the creeps."

This isn't just the wrong man at the wrong time, it's a constant struggle with your self-worth,
believe it or not!

And if you find yourself thinking any of those things up there, you need to do something right now.

You need to take the PRESSURE OFF and start looking at dating as "fun" and "a learning
process." Seriously.

Maybe you don't think that you can start over at "your age" (that's total junk by the way), or that you hate being single again at this point in your life.

But you ARE single, and the sooner you embrace that truth, the better off you'll be, and the sooner you can start getting back to a place where you can actually meet a guy who will become the love of your life.

You can start by saying "hello" to one new man every day - at the store, at work, at coffee
shops.

But hey, I can understand that constantly having to "start over" from scratch to find a great guy
when you already thought you had one can not only be frustrating, it can be downright demoralizing.

Meeting a man isn't the problem, so much as when he STOPS CALLING or asking you out, or gets distant and withdraws for no logical reason.

Maybe you don't know the specific things to ASK A MAN early on to figure out if he's being honest, if he's mature, if he's even "into" having a real relationship (and not just a fling).

What I've learned about the early stages of dating is that most women would be much more successful in dating and relationships if they not only knew how to MEET a great man, but how to ATTRACT him in the RIGHT way to keep his interest in the long-term.

It's not enough just to be a beautiful, smart and capable woman.

The reason a man falls for a woman, and I mean really and truly falls for her, has little to do
with the way she LOOKS, or how smart or successful she is.

Although these are nice "openers" to pull a guy in at first.

Men fall for women and start pursuing them and want a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP filled with love, affection and growth because of a few very special and specific qualities he either sees
and admires in a woman and then wants her...

Or he doesn't see these, and he'll never want more than just something fun FOR NOW.

-The simple way to OVERCOME all the common dating frustrations that are haunting you now and keeping you two from moving past all the "what if's" and "maybes"... and surrendering to your feelings and your love

-And much more.

Meanwhile, I hope you take my advice to heart about the break-up mistakes to avoid so that you don't end up stuck in a loveless situation far longer than you have to or want to be.

~ Christian Carter ~

He Doesn't Understand Your Feelings...hmmmmmm

Well, have you ever find yourself constantly wondering how your man feels and what he's thinking...

And find yourself having to "guess" instead of getting the answers straight from him because
the "connection" isn't there...

Do you feel like a man takes everything you say the WRONG WAY?

Does it seem that any time something important or emotional comes up, he either dismisses you or gives you the cold shoulder - and you don't know what to do about it?

For example, let's take a situation where you go on a date with a man you met online.

You have a great time, he tells you that he really LIKES you and would love to get to know you better.

At the end of the evening he asks if you'd like to get together again in a few days.

You say yes.

He says, "Great! Why don't I call you in a couple of days and set something up?"

A "couple of days" go by and no call.

The day you were supposed to get together comes and goes and you still don't hear from him.

Finally, when you just about gave up on him, he calls you... acting like nothing is wrong and nothing out of the ordinary happened.

Now - you've had a few days to wonder and "stew" about this. So how do you tell him what you've been feeling?

And how does this either PUSH a man away, or draw him closer to you?

What comes out of your mouth towards the other person is the result of all that processing.

It's totally LOADED with meaning - meaning the guy just can't possibly "get" in the moment.

For example, when you say "Why didn't you call me the other night?"

What you really MEAN by that is much more complicated. What it actually means is:
"I want to have a relationship with a mature man who cares about me and is thoughtful and does what he says he'll do. You don't seem to be that guy right now. Are you going to be uncaring and distant, or will you step up and be a REAL MAN?"

But when a man HEARS, "Why didn't you call?" three things can happen:
i) he can either ignore you with a lame excuse,
ii) get defensive,
iii) or actually CONNECT.

If you know how to emotionally ENGAGE a man, he will connect and respond to you in this way:

"Sorry I didn't call. I got caught up at work and couldn't get away. But I thought of you."

But if you DON'T know how to emotionally engage a man, you'll constantly feel frustrated and ignored by a man.

Instead of communicating his feelings to you, he'll get angry, distant or stop calling altogether.

This is the problem that comes from not knowing the skills for good COMMUNICATION and CONNECTION with a man.

You'll need to learn what it means when he says something...and what it means when he says nothing at all.

You'll also need to learn ways of communicating that go BEYOND WORDS.